Thursday 7 April 2016

Does Age Matter In Coaching and Therapy?

Does Age Matter In Coaching And Therapy?

Is Experience Subjective?

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For centuries we have been used to the idea that the elders, the old wise person from the village is the go-to person.

But how accurate is this nowadays?

Do age matters in coaching and therapy these days?

Based on this statement does that mean that the older the coach/therapist the better?

Would a 93 years old coach be more effective and help us achieve better results than a 23 years one?

I can hear you screaming the answer, and you are right.

No, it does not mean anything.

Society has evolved, we have evolved, people younger and younger are developing such entrepreneurial mindset and success that they make great coaches, mentors, therapists and trainers, just the older ones.

Likewise, there are younger and younger people, who are very irresponsible. You can find equally good and bad coaches out there, just follow your instinct, regardless of their age.

The same applies to more mature (and notice how I am not using the word experienced!) coaches, there are amazing ones that provide everything we look for, and those who well… you know, that aren’t so great.

Experience doesn’t necessarily manifest itself with age, we have genius children who are able to do things older people can’t do; though, we find that almost a “miracle”, but when we are faced with a younger coach, therapist, mentor, trainer, this almost invisible barrier comes up and we “judge” without giving them a chance.

We lived in an entrepreneurial society over the years, which then became a society of followers, where pretty much everyone was told their worth; and now a lot of people want to break away from that vicious circle and move towards freedom, total freedom, and by that I mean time and financial freedom.

The younger coaches have a fresher outlook in life, they are current and yes, sometimes they lack the experience (which more often is years of trial and error); on the other hand the more mature coaches have the experience, and at the same time they could be set in their ways, are not very current and might not understand some of the “new” problems society presents today.

My main point here is that age does not matter, whether someone is just out of College or University, or have been working for decades they have something unique to offer and give to their clients.

Remember what we discussed previously, sharing your gift with the world, that’s what they are doing, and by “judging” them for being too “old” or too “young” we might not be doing ourselves any favours.

This brings me to what to look for when you look for a coach or therapist (the same applies to trainers and mentors).

You, ideally, want someone you have a connection with, some who is disciplined and scares you, and at the same time you respect and respects you back.

Creating a relationship of respect is paramount in a coaching/therapy relationship.

If your coach is too “soft”, guess what, you will not achieve much, you are likely to walk all over them and do what you have always done.

If your coach is too “tough”, he/she might put you off and scare the living light out of you.

Find that balance, and connection to allow the magic in that relationship to flourish and you achieve the results you want.

Word-of-mouth is perhaps one the most popular ways to find a good coach (regardless of their age J), ask around if you are looking for someone.

Be mindful to have a clear idea of what you are going to be working on too, you want to work with a coach/therapist who is an expert or at least have a basic understanding of the subject matter.

One other helpful thing to have in mind is pricing, just because someone appears “affordable” doesn’t immediately make them a good fit for you, same applies for the “expensive” ones, it doesn’t mean they are going to work wonders for you.

Remember, change (I much rather use the word evolution and growth, to be honest) takes time, effort and money.

Guess what?

The more money you invest in your mind, mindset and reprogramming, the better.

Going back to what we discussed previously, people much rather invest on short term solutions, quick fixes that will cost them more in the long run.

To put it into context, a night out in the UK costs around £100 (and some more if you include clothing, makeup and the works!), Botox costs (depending where you are) anything from £150 (every 3-4 months), a personal trainer around £100 (for 3 hours or so, and this is not addressing the emotional issues).

You get the idea.

Lastly, the looks of the coach/therapist, do they look the part?

Is your weight loss coach “fit” (I have seen obese weight loss coaches!)?

Is your confidence coach confident?

Be mindful of this, do your research.

As I have concluded, age does not matter, looks do not matter, location does not matter, what really matters here is you.
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Are you getting what you want?

Is this coach/therapist helping you achieve your goals?

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

I would love to hear your feedback, I would love to know more about you. Get in touch, email me jorge@lifecoachsouthampton.co.uk, leave a comment, let me know how you are.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours.

Jorge

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