Saturday 30 April 2016

Amor Sin Fin Y Eterno

Amor Sin Fin Y Eterno

Viviendo En Amor

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Luego de pasar muchos años pensando que no tenía derecho a ser amado o a la felicidad; “desperté” de esa pesadilla para descubrir que yo merecía cada onza de amor que encontrase en mi camino.

Cuando desperté de esta pesadilla imaginaria (para ser completamente honesto, esta pesadilla fue creada en mi cabeza y allí estuvo hasta cuando decidí liberarme de esta forma innecesaria de pensar) las cosas empezaron a cambiar y alinearse en mi vida.

Como estarás consciente por La Ley De La Atracción nosotros atraemos a nuestras vidas las cosas en las que nos enfocamos y pensamos con mayor frecuencia.

Durante mi adolescencia cuando pensé que el mundo estaba en contra mía (se sentía de esa manera) todo lo que atraía era tristeza, dolor, infelicidad y más de todas estas cosas que no quería, era un círculo vicioso casi eterno.

OK, no olvidemos que tenía que aceptar el hecho de que era homosexual y esto me tomo un poquitín más de lo que te podrás imaginar (más de esto en otro episodio – te prometo que no te sentirás decepcionado).

Varios meses después de haberme aceptado a mí mismo como homosexual muchas cosas cambiaron en mi vida, en mi cabeza y en mi interior.

Por esos primeros 16 años de mi vida, por primera vez me sentí “cómodo” en mi propia piel, y sentí que tenía una voz y propósito.

Si, las cosas aun eran un “poco” difícil, pero eran un poco más tolerables.

Luego de varios meses de terapia y sicoterapia aprendí muchas cosas de mí y el mundo; mi vida en blanco y negro empezó a llenarse de color, las cosas cambiaron alrededor mío y yo, por vez primera, me sentí a cargo de mi vida.

Un día (que aún recuerdo como si fuese ayer) salí a celebrar mi graduación del colegio con un amigo, que me tomo como su hermano y me enseno mucho; y este día mi vida cambio para siempre.

Esta noche, el 30 de diciembre del 2000 conocí a el hombre que no solo sacudió mi mundo, pero también me dio mucho amor, más de lo que pensé era posible recibir.
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Mi vida hasta este momento había tenido sus altibajos, momentos de alegría y tristeza, momentos en lo que desee no estar en este mundo y otros en los que sentí estaba aquí por alguna “razón”.

Aunque, el día que conocí este caballero muchas cosas se aclararon en mi vida, caí en la cuenta de que yo estaba permitido y merecía amor, que yo merecía ser amado, que no importaba que había sucedido antes de ese día, todas aquellas veces que mi corazón había sido partido, aquellas veces que el amor se rio de mí, las ocasiones en las que tuve que pegar mi corazón nuevamente, todo aquello ya no importaba (o cualquier otro día después de ese momento).

Cuando miré en sus ojos vi vida, me sentí vivo y aprendí que la valía la pena luchar por la vida, cuando tienes a alguien que te ama más de lo que te amas a ti mismo.

Ese mismo día pensé que cualquier cosa que había sucedido en mi vida antes de este momento solo fue un espejismo porque me “verdadera” vida estaba a punto de empezar.

Sé que suena todo “cuanto de hadas”, pero que estoy tratando de ejemplificar aquí es que cuando uno cambia su forma de pensar sobre uno mismo y el mundo alrededor, que cuando le damos la espalda a lo negativo y nos enfocamos en lo positivo la vida en realidad empieza.

Como menciono en mi libro Creciendo Seguro (traducción al español en verano del 2016), y solo digo la verdad (lo prometo, palabra de honor), hasta antes de este momento no había caído en la cuenta que luego de cambiar mi forma de pensar y ver la vida (esto sucedió el 28 de marzo del 2000, luego de una sobredosis), 9 meses después de esto encontré el amor (y la vida nuevamente) y luego 2 años más tarde de haber encontrado mi amor (en aquel entonces) me vi mudándome a Inglaterra.

También, todo después del 28 de marzo ha sido casi mágico porque aprendí a enfocarme en la vida y el amor y todas las cosas que me permitieron volverme una mejor persona.

El amor ha sido verdaderamente la razón por la que hoy comparto mi historia con el mundo y ayudo a mis clientes y estudiantes a ser las mejores versiones de si mismos y crear un efecto domino alrededor de ellos, cosa de cada persona que ellos conocen y tocan son beneficiadas con los cambios en sus vidas.

Durante este tiempo también aprendí que el verdadero amor es eterno cuando uno aprende amarse y aceptarse sin importar nada, que algunas veces se requiere que alguien nos haga ver que nosotros merecemos todo el amor del mundo.

En verdad es una jornada cuando aprendes a amarte a ti mismo, cuando cambias tu mentalidad y el resultado directo en este proceso es la vida que siempre deseaste.

Amar, vivir, amar, vivir, vivir en amor, y amar mientras vives es mi mantra,
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¿Le has dicho a alguien que le amas recientemente?

¿Te has dicho que te amas a ti mismo últimamente?

¿Has demostrado actos de amor a diario?

¿A quién le has tocado la vida con amor?

Espero que hayas disfrutado este blog y por favor comparte con la gente que conoces y aquellos que quizá necesiten un poquitín de amor en sus vidas.

Recuerda hay suficiente amor para todos (yo tengo mucho que brindar).

Con todo mi amor (y es en serio).

Desde mi corazón al tuyo.

Jorge

Endless Love

Endless Love

Living In Love

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After years of thinking that I was not entitled to love and happiness; I “woke up” from that nightmare to find out that I was worth every ounce of love I found my way.

When I “woke up” form this imaginary nightmare (truth be told, this was created in my head and stayed there until I decided to free myself from this unwanted way of thinking) things started to align themselves in my life.

As you probably are aware (and as briefly touched on yesterday) by The Law of Attraction we attract into our lives what we think about.

During my teenage years when I thought the world was against me (it felt that way, anyway!) all I attracted was sadness, hurt, unhappiness and disappointment.

Ok, let’s not forget that I had to come to terms with the fact I was gay and it took me a wee while to accept myself (more of that in another episode – I promise it won’t disappoint!).

So, months after I came to terms with being gay things changed in my life, in my head and in me.

For the first time in those 16 years at the time I felt sort of “comfortable” in my own skin, I felt like I had a voice and a purpose.

Yes, things were still “challenging” but they were easier.

After months of therapy and psychotherapy I was learning about myself and the world; my black and white life was starting to fill up with colour, things were changing around me and I was, for once, in charge of my life.

One day (which I remember like it was yesterday) I was out celebrating my graduation from college with a friend, who took me under his wing and looked after me like a younger brother, and this day my life changed forever.

This night, the 30th of December 2000 I met the man that not only swept me off my feet but gave me so much love I didn’t even know was possible to receive.
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Life till that very moment had had its ups and downs, moments of happiness and others not so happy, moments when I wished I wasn’t here any longer and others when I felt I was here for some “reason”.

Though, the day I met this gentleman many things became clearer, I realised I was allowed and I deserved love, I was worth being loved, it didn’t matter what had happened before that day, all those times my heart had been broken, the times love laughed at me, the times I had to glue my heart together, all of that didn’t matter that day (or any after that moment!).

When I looked into his eyes I saw life, I felt alive and I learned that life was worth fighting for when you have someone who loved you more than you love yourself.

This very day, I thought that whatever had happened beforehand was all but a mirage because my “real” life was just about to start.

Although, I know it sounds quite “fairy-taley”, what I am trying to exemplify here is that when we change the way we think about the world and ourselves, when we turn our back on the negative and focus on the positive life really begins.

As mentioned in my book Growing Confident, and truth be told (hand on heart – I totally promise – scouts honour!), I hadn’t realised that upon changing my “mindset” (BTW this happened on the 28th of March 2000 after an OD), 9 months post that I found love (and life again) and 2 years post meeting my love (at the time) I found myself moving to England.

Also, everything post that 28th of March has been almost magical because I learned to focus on life and love and things that allowed me to become a better person.

Love has truly been the reason I am here sharing my story with the world and helping my clients and students to become better versions of themselves and create a ripple effect around them, so everyone they meet and touch benefits from that change in them and their lives.

During this time I have also learned that love truly is endless when you learn to love and accept yourself no matter what, sometimes it takes someone else to make us realise we are worth all the love in the world.

It truly is a journey when you learn to love yourself, when you shift your mindset and the direct by-product of this process is the life you always wanted.

Love, live, love, live, live in love, and love while living is my mantra.
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Have you told someone you love them recently?

Have you told yourself you love yourself lately?

What about showing acts of love on a daily basis?

Whose life can you touch with love?

I hope you have enjoyed this blog post and please share with people you know and those who might need that tiny weeny bit of love in their lives.
Remember there’s plenty to go round (I have got plenty to give).

With all my love (and I mean it!).

From my heart to yours,

Jorge

Friday 29 April 2016

Napoleon Hill

Napoleon Hill

Think & Grow Rich

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Continuing with what I have mentioned before about reading I would like to use one of my favourite books as an example.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

Out of this mighty book the message I got from it was:

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

This quote is in alignment with everything I do and everything I believe in.

I take this quote and look at it from two different lenses.

  1. As a spiritual person:

For those of you who are familiar with The Law of Attraction (if you haven’t, seriously, where have you been?), this reminds me of the power our thoughts have over our reality, how we are the creators of our own reality.

If we believe it is possible, guess what? I will be. Likewise, if we believe it is challenging, it will be.

It is a no brainer.

The vibrations, frequency and energy we put into our thoughts shape our reality.

So, why not choose positive and empowering ones?

We bring about what we think about.

Way before I knew about The Law of Attraction I was manifesting incredible things into my life because I aligned my thoughts with the reality I knew and felt I deserved. And I got it!

The success I have achieved, friends and the love of my life all came through this process of creating positive thoughts which then became my reality.

Try it, it works.

  1. As a coach and mind therapist.

The truth is that there are no differences between The Law of Attraction and Coaching, they do the same thing, we just use different names.

One of the most fascinating things I have noticed (truth be told, I like to call it a “phenomenon”, just kidding!) is that many people who are in the personal development world and mind therapies come to an invisible “ceiling”, whereby they realise that there is a lot that conventional science and psychology cannot explain.

Then what?

Spirituality have the answers to many of their conundrums and unanswered questions.

When you take this quote and simplify it further, you can realise that it says we are in control of our minds, therefore we can control our thoughts, therefore we create our reality, no one else, period!

I know it is easier said than done.

Though, how many times you have drawn to you good things? Equally, how many times you have attracted things that don’t serve you.

Perhaps me trying to give you two different angles to this phrase may confuse you.

The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter what happens around you, you can turn it around and make it work on your favour.

We hear the saying: if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

But what if life gives you kiwis? What are you going to do?
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Tell me?

If all you know is to make lemonade isn’t this a bit too confusing.

When you remember the hidden, subliminal message in this quote you realise that you don’t have to make lemonade if you are being given some other ingredient.

If life gives you kiwis, make kiwinade (BTW this is my saying hands off! Lol), you don’t have to conform. If you feel that kiwinade is too much, make kiwi juice (please leave the New Zealanders alone!).

I hope this have given you some food for thought.

Till next time.
With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

Jorge

Thursday 28 April 2016

Just Remember

Just Remember
To Simply Be
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Today I wanted to share a poem I wrote earlier in the year.

Enjoy reading it.

Just Remember

Just remember…
When you were a child and all you did was to dream
Just remember…
When you fell in love for the first time
Just remember…
Your very first success
Just remember…
A smile heals the wounds of the recipient
Just remember…
Where there is dark, always there will be light
Just remember…
The day follows the night and vice versa
Just remember…
There can’t be a number 2 without a number 1
Just remember…
After winter, the spring comes
Just remember…
You are Energy
Just remember…
You are the creator of your reality
Just remember…
You and I are one of the same
Just remember…
You are love, you are loved
Just remember…
To simple be

Jorge Vence
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As always feel free to comment and share.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours.

Jorge

Wednesday 27 April 2016

¿Cuántos libros has leído últimamente?

¿Cuántos libros has leído últimamente?

Los que más aprenden más ganan

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Desde que lo que puedo recordar siempre me ha encantado leer, es más, me siento incomodo si no leo a diario.

¿Por qué?

Porque pienso que me estoy robando a mí mismo de aprender y crecer.

Cada vez que leo un buen libro expando mi consciencia y encuentro posibles soluciones a problemas que pueda tener, o simplemente estoy ganando herramientas que me ayudaran en el futuro.

¿Quizás te estés preguntando, tengo que leer?
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Para ser sincero no tienes que leer del todo, en lugar de esto podrías escuchar un audio o ver un video.

Siempre y cuando estés aprendiendo algo nuevo a diario.

Sé que la vida nos presenta dificultades con frecuencia, pero, si no aprendes algo nuevo a diario, ¿crees que obtendrás resultados diferentes a los que has obtenido hasta ahora?

Te daré mi ejemplo, cada día me doy unos cuantos minutos para leer unas páginas, usualmente mi objetivo son 10 paginas, algunas veces doblo esa cantidad, otras, cuando no tengo suficiente tiempo, leo menos, lo que importa es que estoy leyendo a diario.

¿Cómo te beneficias con esta lectura?

En muchas formas, puedes leer algo relacionado al trabajo, estilo de vida, mercadeo, negocios, etc., como ves puede ser cualquier cosa, siempre y cuando es importante para ti (¡seamos honestos novelas y mangas no cuentan!).

De acuerdo a algunas estadísticas (que no recuerdo exactamente), la mayor parte de la gente para de leer en el momento que terminan sus estudios…

¡Esto es una locura!

¿Por qué pararías de aprender?

Cuando ves personas que ganan buen dinero, dueños de negocios y emprendedores, ellos hacen la lectura y aprender algo nuevo su prioridad número uno porque los esto los lleva más cerca de sus metas y los mueve más cerca de donde que quieren estar.
¿Estas completamente satisfecho donde estas actualmente?

¿Tienes mucho mes at final del cheque?

¿Te sientes ignorado cuando están promoviendo gente en el trabajo?

¿Estás leyendo?

¿Estás aprendiendo?

Ves, cuando lees y aprendes algo cambia en nosotros, algo dentro y muy profundo empieza a brillar y la gente alrededor nuestro lo nota y se sienten cómodos con eso.

No necesitas leer artículos sofisticados en física o genoma humano, tan solo haz lo que puedas para mantenerte actualizado y aprender/leer algo nuevo que agregue valor a tu vida.

¿Estás perdiendo tu tiempo viendo televisión?

¿Estás proveyendo un buen ejemplo a tus hijos leyendo regularmente?

No se te olvide que las pequeños no están observando constantemente, y al leer no solo crecemos y aprendemos, sino que también inspiramos a los que nos rodean.

En mi opinión personal todos ganan, aprendes, creces, inspiras a los demás y te mantienes al día.

Si en estos momentos no estás leyendo algún libro, te invite a que empieces a leer uno que sea de interés en tu vida o con tu trabajo y nota la diferencia por ti mismo.
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Por favor me gustaría escuchar tus comentarios, dame tu opinión y comparte con los demás.

Hasta la próxima.

Con todo mi amor.

Desde mi corazón al tuyo.

Jorge

How Many Books Have You Read Recently?

How Many Books Have You Read Recently?

Learners are earners

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For as long as I can remember I have loved reading; in fact, I feel terrible if I don’t read on a daily basis.

Why?

I feel I am stopping myself from learning and growing.

Every time I read a good book, I expand my awareness and find possible solutions to problems I may have or I am being equipped for any possible obstacles I may face in my future.

Do I have to read you might be asking?

To be honest you don’t have to read at all, you could instead listen to an audio or watch a video.

As long as you are learning something new each and every day.
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I know life happens and we are busy most of the time; though, if you don’t learn something new a day, do you think you will get results any different to the ones you have got so far?

I will give you my example, I set aside a few minutes a day to read a few pages, normally I aim for 10 pages, sometimes I double that, or when I am short of time I do less, but regardless I read on a daily basis.

How does that knowledge benefit me?

In countless ways, it could be something work related, lifestyle related, marketing related, business related, etc., you see it could be anything, as long as it is important and meaningful to you (let’s be honest novels and mangas don’t count!).

According to some statistics (which I can’t remember exactly) the vast majority of people stop reading as soon as they leave school…

This is insane!

Why would you stop learning?

When you look at top earners, business owners and entrepreneurs they make reading and learning a new skill their number one priority because this aligns them with their goals and move them closer to where they want to be.

Are you 100% satisfied with where you are at the moment?

Do you have too much month left at the end of the pay check?

Do you feel left out when people are being promoted at work?

Are you reading?

Are you learning?

You see, when we read and learn something changes in us, something within and so deep starts to shine that people around us start to notice and resonate with it.

You needn’t read the most sophisticated articles about neuroplasticity or nuclear weapons, but do your best to be current and learn/read about something that will add value to your life.

Are you wasting your time watching TV?

Are you setting a good example to your children by reading on a regular basis?

Do not forget that the little ones around us are watching, by reading we are not only growing and learning but inspiring and raising the bar for others too.

Reading IMHO is a win-win scenario, you learn, you grow, you inspire others and you stay current.

If you aren’t reading anything at the moment, I invite you to start reading a book that is in alignment with a skill you want to learn or work related and notice the difference for yourself.
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Please I would love you to comment, give me some honest feedback and share this blog post with others.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

Jorge

Thursday 7 April 2016

Does Age Matter In Coaching and Therapy?

Does Age Matter In Coaching And Therapy?

Is Experience Subjective?

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For centuries we have been used to the idea that the elders, the old wise person from the village is the go-to person.

But how accurate is this nowadays?

Do age matters in coaching and therapy these days?

Based on this statement does that mean that the older the coach/therapist the better?

Would a 93 years old coach be more effective and help us achieve better results than a 23 years one?

I can hear you screaming the answer, and you are right.

No, it does not mean anything.

Society has evolved, we have evolved, people younger and younger are developing such entrepreneurial mindset and success that they make great coaches, mentors, therapists and trainers, just the older ones.

Likewise, there are younger and younger people, who are very irresponsible. You can find equally good and bad coaches out there, just follow your instinct, regardless of their age.

The same applies to more mature (and notice how I am not using the word experienced!) coaches, there are amazing ones that provide everything we look for, and those who well… you know, that aren’t so great.

Experience doesn’t necessarily manifest itself with age, we have genius children who are able to do things older people can’t do; though, we find that almost a “miracle”, but when we are faced with a younger coach, therapist, mentor, trainer, this almost invisible barrier comes up and we “judge” without giving them a chance.

We lived in an entrepreneurial society over the years, which then became a society of followers, where pretty much everyone was told their worth; and now a lot of people want to break away from that vicious circle and move towards freedom, total freedom, and by that I mean time and financial freedom.

The younger coaches have a fresher outlook in life, they are current and yes, sometimes they lack the experience (which more often is years of trial and error); on the other hand the more mature coaches have the experience, and at the same time they could be set in their ways, are not very current and might not understand some of the “new” problems society presents today.

My main point here is that age does not matter, whether someone is just out of College or University, or have been working for decades they have something unique to offer and give to their clients.

Remember what we discussed previously, sharing your gift with the world, that’s what they are doing, and by “judging” them for being too “old” or too “young” we might not be doing ourselves any favours.

This brings me to what to look for when you look for a coach or therapist (the same applies to trainers and mentors).

You, ideally, want someone you have a connection with, some who is disciplined and scares you, and at the same time you respect and respects you back.

Creating a relationship of respect is paramount in a coaching/therapy relationship.

If your coach is too “soft”, guess what, you will not achieve much, you are likely to walk all over them and do what you have always done.

If your coach is too “tough”, he/she might put you off and scare the living light out of you.

Find that balance, and connection to allow the magic in that relationship to flourish and you achieve the results you want.

Word-of-mouth is perhaps one the most popular ways to find a good coach (regardless of their age J), ask around if you are looking for someone.

Be mindful to have a clear idea of what you are going to be working on too, you want to work with a coach/therapist who is an expert or at least have a basic understanding of the subject matter.

One other helpful thing to have in mind is pricing, just because someone appears “affordable” doesn’t immediately make them a good fit for you, same applies for the “expensive” ones, it doesn’t mean they are going to work wonders for you.

Remember, change (I much rather use the word evolution and growth, to be honest) takes time, effort and money.

Guess what?

The more money you invest in your mind, mindset and reprogramming, the better.

Going back to what we discussed previously, people much rather invest on short term solutions, quick fixes that will cost them more in the long run.

To put it into context, a night out in the UK costs around £100 (and some more if you include clothing, makeup and the works!), Botox costs (depending where you are) anything from £150 (every 3-4 months), a personal trainer around £100 (for 3 hours or so, and this is not addressing the emotional issues).

You get the idea.

Lastly, the looks of the coach/therapist, do they look the part?

Is your weight loss coach “fit” (I have seen obese weight loss coaches!)?

Is your confidence coach confident?

Be mindful of this, do your research.

As I have concluded, age does not matter, looks do not matter, location does not matter, what really matters here is you.
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Are you getting what you want?

Is this coach/therapist helping you achieve your goals?

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

I would love to hear your feedback, I would love to know more about you. Get in touch, email me jorge@lifecoachsouthampton.co.uk, leave a comment, let me know how you are.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours.

Jorge